Affliction.

I trace the pattern of raindrops on your window

while you sleep next to me

I left my dignity somewhere between fate and hypocrisy

and wound up in your arms

I can’t deny that I hate myself for this

and you’ll never understand

that I never wanted to lose myself

even though you said “you can”

my adult decisions are wavered

by my lack of inhibition

and here I lay

on display

a victim of your affliction

I don’t want your hands, I’ll only push them away

I don’t want your advances, they’re more than I can handle today

I don’t want your -what am I saying?

I just want your attention while I’m fraying

one touch away from breaking

one touch away from breaking

I look in your eyes for some trace of commitment

but I come up empty

I long for those words that will end our confusion

but I fear the reality

I can’t deny that I’m not at my best

but you don’t see

that the reason I came here

was so I could forget my misery

my adult decisions are wavered

by my lack of inhibition

and here I lay

on display

a victim of your affliction

I don’t want your hands, I’ll only push them away

I don’t want your advances, they’re more than I can handle today

I don’t want your -what am I saying?

I just want your attention while I’m fraying

one touch away from breaking

one touch away from breaking

I’m truly on the edge of what could and could never be

and the only hand to pull me up is full of your broken words and promises empty

my adult decisions are damaged

by my ignorance of heart

do I walk away?

or do I stay…

and tear myself apart?

I don’t want your hands, I’ll only push them away

I don’t want your advances, they’re more than I can handle today

I don’t want your -what am I saying?

I just want your attention while I’m fraying

one touch away from breaking

one touch away from breaking